So recently I had told you guys about how I had been bummed out for a little while, and how I had started regretting some choices that I had made. I have been trying to take the steps to get pass my regrets and move on, which has been working. But now it seems like when I got rid of one problem, I’ve created another one for myself.
Back in January I decide to do the Big Chop, and at first I really didn’t think that it was going to have that much of an effect on me. Mostly for the Good, but also some for the Bad! I’m not always the most confident person when it comes to my looks…even though I try to make people think that way. Now I don’t think I’m dog crap ugly lol, but sometimes my confidence can take a hit. Not until I was in my early 20’s did I actually think that I was attractive(sad…I know), and now at 26 I sometimes find myself second guessing my own beauty. I sometimes let my mind slip into “Courtney you’re this…” or “Courtney you’re that…” which is very dangerous for ones psyche.
This can be brought on simply by my wondering brain. Sometimes it’s from rejection or a negative comment that may be said. And no it’s not always about my looks, sometimes it’s about the way I talk, the way I dress,my past, my personal life or even how I act.
It can get a little hard out here when people are saying the “You” that you are, is not good enough. That you need to change to fit whatever standards that they think is right or real. I think it’s something everyone fall victim to sometimes, and there’s nothing wrong with that. What can be wrong is letting people change you, falling and not getting back up. You have to love thy self before anyone else can, and you have to live your own dream. You have to keep pushing.
I guess you’re wondering where all of this is coming from huh?
While I was searching thru my new favorite site that my little sister just put me on called K is for Kinky, they had a YouTube video up of Jessie J performing her single “Who You Are” and it really touched me…and it was definitely something that I needed to here at this very moment. And after watching it…so much started flowing thru my brain, that I thought I would share it here on my blog.
So Yeah! Here’s the video, I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!
Well I’m out, I hope to do one more post in the morning before I leave for Philly. I’m soooooooo GEEKED to see my sister and the rest of my Temple U. crew.
Good Night Yinz Guys!