Hey Yinz Guys & Happy Friday! We made it through yet another week, and can you believe it’s already November? Like I swear January was just last week. So with this new month comes new routines and new goals, and also time to start saving and shopping for Christmas next month. My sister also celebrates her 30th birthday this month and I will be traveling to see her in Philly so I need to save all my coins and monies for all the upcoming spending I will be doing this month and next. Continue reading “No New Makeup November…”
Hey Yinz Guys & Happy Monday! How was your weekend…my weekend wasn’t too exciting, but I did start my second job which is a part-time retail gig. Which I guess is exciting because that means I’ll have some extra income coming real soon. Other then that I spent it at home trying to rest up for this week. I mentioned on Friday that for the next few weeks I will be sharing my 2017 goals for #MotivationalMondays. I guess it like a little blogging mini series lol, so today I’m going to start off with my “Personal Goals for 2017”. These goals will actually fall into my more specific goals but this just sums up some of the most important goals from all the categories. Continue reading “Goals For My 32nd Year…”
This morning, I had a text conversation with my sister and it went a little something like this…
Sister: Good Morning
Me: I was hoping I crashed into a ditch this morning
Sister: OMG I’m cracking up!!! Don’t say that!!!
Me: I really was:
Me: I was also trying to be positive as well
Me: Like at least I have a job
Sister: True! I have to remind myself of that too.
Sister: I also have a problem with thinking I wish I had this and that but I need to be happy with what I have. Continue reading “I’m No Positive Patty…”
“Rule number 1, get the money 1st. Rule number 2, don’t forget to get the money!” ~ Young Dolph
Now if you’re like me you may have rolled your eyes at this being the opening line of of yet another basic ass rap song. I mean at 31 I haven’t really been impressed with any of the new rap artist. Outside of the clubs and lounges I sometimes visit I really don’t listen to much of it. But while at work, two days after the elections this song popped up on someone I follows snap, it was just the chorus, and it caught my attention because for the past couple of days it has been my exact thought.
One thing I have learned to love and appreciate more then anything is my alone time. Now I wasn’t always this secure with being by myself, rather it was without being in a relationship or without friends when I was younger I hated the idea of being alone. I use to always surround myself with some type of company, the only downside to that is that when just allowing anyone in your space you tend to allow more negative people who are always looking for opportunities to take advantages of lonely people such as my younger self, then people who genuinely want to be there for you. Continue reading “Being Ok With Being Alone…”
I don’t have much to say…but I will say this…it begins at home. It begins in our own cities…on our streets! We have to remember not only this but we also have to remember who we are as a people. How great we are, how strong we are, and most importantly how smart we are. Yes we have come a long way…but not far enough. I was fortunate enough to learn my history at a young age from my parents and grandparents. I was lucky enough to grow up in just about every black community in the City of Pittsburgh, so I know what we can do when we come together as a community. I also unfortunately know what can happen when we stop caring about what’s going on in our communities and only focus on self. If you want to see change, you must first seek change within yourself. You must first be the change you seek.
I stand for #JordanMiles, #LeonFordJR just as much as I stand for #TrayvonMartin, #MikeBrown and now most recently #TamirRice.
As much as I want you around, I’m not sure if you’re suppose to be here. So I texted you that I’m a leave you alone, and I’m a do just that. You know how to find me. But until then I’m a just let you rock out. Like Crystal said “If he’s suppose to be here, he’ll be here.” I guess I just need to trust that you know what you want, I just hope what you want is me.
It hurts to have to let someone go in hopes that they’ll return. Sometimes it’s for the better(Daddy) and sometimes is for the worse(Nate). But you…I don’t want to have to let you go. Shit if I could see you everyday I would. We just drive each other too crazy…or maybe it’s I just drive you crazy or it could be the other way around.
You make me feel wanted and special, you make me feel like a woman. And for a girl who grew up spending her early teens wanting to be a boy that’s a big deal. So when I tell you I want you around I mean that shit. I mean that shit from my core, and I’ll keep meaning that shit. But I guess it’s a process, and I have to trust the process. I have to trust that you know best.
I’m starting to realize that when it comes to relationships…I am my own worst enemy. I tend to get in my own way, my best hater.
I’m building something new with a guy that began rather quickly. Never have I had someone who is so honest with his feelings, so true with his words and not one bit embarrassed to tell me how he feels not only about anything but for me as well. He’s like everything I’ve been trying to pull out of these other guys…and yet I’m still not impressed aka “Happy”. Why is that? Like what is wrong with me that I can’t allow this dude to do what I’ve been wanting all my past dudes to do.
For example, last night he asked me a simple question…”What about me makes you feel that you can trust me?”. What my answer should have been was something like…”You make me feel safe…”, “Cause I feel like I can be honest with you…” Or even “Cause I want you to trust me..”. NOPE…I SAID NONE OF THOSE…instead my answer was “I’m not in the mood for sentimental shit, I’m watching basketball!”
BITCH WHAT THE FUCK? Like since when have I cared about some damn NBA, now if it was college ball, and it was my team Duke vs NC…then maybe I could see me saying that…but it was the Lakers against Golden State…I couldn’t even tell you a players name on Golden State. Yet I found it necessary to shut him down like that. Now granted…he busted them biscuits open a short 30mins later after I finished what I was eating, so I guess he wasn’t to moved by my statement. But I was sitting here thinking…what if he was. What if I just fucked up all the good shit that could possibly happen with him because I’m to scared to allow him in. I’m too scared to let him know I care…I’m too scared he might leave.
He has no idea but all last night I kept thinking about how things were going to end with us. Or I was thinking if he was mad at me about last night. Lately no matter what he does I seem to be “not impressed” with any of it, when really I’m in awe of everything he does. I’m amazed how he’s overcome such diversity and still continues to follow his dreams when most people would have quit, moved on and given up.
You see I know what it’s like to have a dream, what it’s like to want something so bad that you become so involved in it that you’re blind to others around you. Yet I can’t seem to allow myself to relate to him. He doesn’t know this, but I went and listed to his old work, and his word play to me is pretty fucking amazing. And it’s crazy to see how much he has grown in his passion for music. I only hope people see half the growth in my writing that I see in him as a rapper. Yet…a part of me is embarrassed that I feel this way for someone who is a mere mortal like myself. How can I be so infatuated with someone who has been in my life less then a month yet he will forever be a memory I hope to keep forever. Better yet why is he so comfortable around me to let me in and listen to such a important part of his being. Why me?
He does all of this, and I’m still not impressed…at least that’s how it looks on the outside. When really in the inside I’m twerkin’ with excitement for all his shit. Just another example of allowing my past to dictate my future and my sorrows to shine brighter then my happiness. I guess now that I have identified the problem the next step is to try an rectify it. Maybe I’ll even let him read this post before I actually post it…or better yet I’ll just tell him how I feel in person. Either way I need to fix things with him…and make sure I catch myself before I wreck myself.
****FYI: I waited to post this until he got to read it first. Took him 2 days to read it, but he finally did…and he loved it****
Hey Yinz Guys! So I know I haven’t been on here in awhile…with that being said, I decided to set some vlogging goals that I will like to achieve over the summer. You know I have this nice ass camera it’s about time I really start putting it to use. So I made a vlog describing all my goals I have for my vlogging channel…but if you’re at work or don’t feel like watching a video I listed all the goals below the video as well…
Summer Vlogging Goals for 2013:
- Going Back To School
- Dating Chronicles
- Car Searching
- Apartment Hunting
- Exercising/Getting Healthy
- Life Lessons I’ve Learned
- Makeup/Hair/Product/Monthly Subscription Reviews(still questionable)
- TV Show Recaps(maybe)
So yeah, I hope yinz guys continue to check out my blog and vlog! Thanks for tuning in and remember your #3Ps(more on that later)
Bye Yinz Guys!
- People who are always correcting on twitter (>_<) I know you’re just watching out for me…I just hate being corrected lol
- Links that don’t work
- My mother constantly asking me questions and voicing her opinion when no one asked her
- Mean people
- Pittsburgh lack of unity