So I have about 15 more mins left before I have to take my Oatifix face mask off…so I’ll make this a quick late night post. I’m up late again and I’m feeling some type of way…again. It’s not an unfamiliar feeling, just an unknown feeling. It’s usually brought on by feelings of loneliness and sadness…by memories of my Dad that passed away. I wonder if I’ll ever shake this feeling, the feeling of being incomplete…being less whole then when I was when he was here. Often this feeling of incompleteness follows me into my relationships with men, or really my lack of relationships with men. At the begging of this year I had decided that I wouldn’t waste my time on dating or looking for anything serious…and I started off really strong. I enrolled in school, started working extra hours to keep my mind off of being single and I even found me a nice “Fuck Buddy” to hit up when I wanted to be held. I was GOOD…but all that changed after I let a “friend” convince me that we could be more. That turned out to be the mistake that caused my mental to be turned upside down and inside out. Not only did I lose out on someone I considered a great friend I also had to deal with unnecessary drama.