My Own Worst Enemy…

For most of my life, I have always felt like the odd one out.  I was the weird girl, the ugly friend/sister and the girl who just doesn’t belong…ANYWHERE. For years I spent most of my life apologizing for who I was/am. I never felt that I was good enough or good at anything. Now at 26, I still sometimes deal with doubt, but as I mature I’m starting to realize that it is just “SELF” doubt.

Most things that I think are horribly wrong with me are just in my head.

Playing The Victim…



So I had a little twitter disagreement much earlier today…yes I know lame, but it still was a little bothersome for me. I was told that I like to play the victim, which is funny to me. Because playing the victim would be continuously allowing something harmful to happen or affect me and not change or move away from the problem. At least that is how I see it.

Yeah to some a few jokes here and there are funny, but when it starts to get malicious is where I have to draw the line. I’ve stated before in a previous post that I don’t understand why people go out of their way to bring down other people…especially people that they don’t know. And what may be funny and harmless to you may not be to someone else. When I joined Twitter, I planned on having a fun experience with it. I seen it as a way to connect with people I may have otherwise never had the chance to meet. But as of recently it has turned into a “Who can get the most laughs by saying something mean”…but because that’s not me I usually just sit back and do my own thing or just log off. Continue reading “Playing The Victim…”

I Need Some “Unplug” Time…

neat nightlight by The Play Coalition, click pic to take you to their site!


If you’re like me…you probably spend most of your time staring at some type of electronic device from the time you wake up…till the time you go to sleep.

Starting at 8am when my alarm goes off, the first thing I do is grab my iPhone and check my Twitter, Facebook, Texts, Emails and Missed Calls…in that EXACT order. Than I spend time going thru my timeline seeing what antics #NT conjured up while I was sleep(recently I haven’t been sleeping…so it’s just a review). Then I check to see if Nate(my ex who’s a Marine) has sent me anything on Facebook. Respond to whatever ridiculous and foul nature note he has sent me than I make my way to my emails.

There I see if there are any music reviews or team updates from @BrainOfBMW, job responses and if there are any good deals for shopping online.

After that I check my texts and missed calls. By this time 2 hours have probably gone by(one of the many joys of being unemployed, no time rush). Oh and did I mention because I have the best phone in the WORLD, my iPhone…I haven’t even picked up my laptop…yet!

Crazy…yes! Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not knocking anyone! But I do think it’s a little much. I have found that since I bought my iPhone a little over a month ago, I have had a problem sitting it down. If you see me, my iPhone is sure to be in my hand, pocket or not even a few inches away from me! I’m addicted to it!

I mean…it does just about everything! I can blog, tweet, read, listen to music, meditated, repent my sins, diagnose myself and do my finest stalking all while sitting on the commode.

And nothing is wrong with that! I mean I have met really cool people, potential love interest, and even got my writing gig all from spending hours on the interwebs! But then there’s the downside, you find out people aren’t who they say they are, things aren’t really what they seem…and really…do you need to read another post about that new thing that just came out, that everyone is telling you you must have, but you can’t afford cause you’re unemployed…OH DID YOU FORGET?

So yeah, like I was saying because I can see I’m about to go on a tangent. I’ve decided to block out an hour…each day in which I don’t get on my phone or laptop. I hoped to start my summer reading this week…so this will be a great time to start. Also this will be a nice vacation for my eyes…cause I’m pretty sure the constant glow of my iPhone/laptop aren’t the best thing for them.

So tell me what you think or even your “unplug” story. How did it work out for you? What were some of the things you did to occupy you’re  time while unplugged? All advice is welcomed!

How You Living C…

 So I had this WHOLE day planned out…that I was going to wake up at 9:30am to 1.)Wake up sis…cause she was afraid she would sleep thru her alarm and 2.) Get all this shit done, like put in some more applications, send out my resume and also call my old job to see why I haven’t received my W2’s yet.

Ask me…Did I do any of these things? NOPE…well except call my sis but that way it. Didn’t fill not one application nor send out any resumes. I’m seriously slacking on my PIMP’N right now! *long sigh*

But I did manage to take some cute pictures over on my Tumblr page…SMH…I know I already know b!


Be Thankful…

These past few weeks I have been in such a RUT! I’ve been doing tons of job searches and plenty of application to no prevail. My Rheumatoid Arthritis has been kicking my ass and my unemployment check is well…#POOR. Oh and don’t even get me started on my LOVE life or lack there off.

So it’s safe to say, I have been acting like a BIG spoiled baby, been super depressed about shit I couldn’t buy or places that I’ve couldn’t go and things I couldn’t do. 

As I am typing this I’m actually talking to my twitter/NT friend and she’s telling me how her city Christchurch, New Zealand was struck by a 6.3 magnitude earthquake. NOW THAT’S SOMETHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT!

As I’m talking to her, I’m sitting in my nice warm and cozy bed…and somewhere in Christchurch, New Zealand there is family who no longer has a home. And to think I’ve been BITCHING about how bored I am cause I’m snowed in at the house…WOO IS ME…wrong!

I have so much to be THANKFUL for its scary! I know for a fact that I take so much for granted, which is definitely something I will be working on this year!

But yeah, this was just a little RAMBLE that I wanted to get off my chest!

Hopefully everything turns out ok for the people of Christchurch, New Zealand!