Mental Health Monday: Over-Explaining
***This is my first post for a new blog series I will be calling Mental Health Monday where I share my journey to healthier mental health. I hope you not only enjoy these post but take something as well.***
I have a horrible habit of over-explaining and trying to force people to understand what I’m trying to say. Especially when it comes to the men I’ve dated. So what is I trying to make sure there is no miscommunication or misunderstanding on how I feel, comes off as me being crazy. I’m not sure why or when exactly i started being like this, but recently it was brought to my attention and well I was taken aback at the thought of someone thinking I’m crazy. Now…don’t get wrong I can be very passionate when it comes to my relationships, in the sense, I put my all into it. Which is probably why I find myself over explaining my thoughts and feelings, instead of maybe taking a step back and seeing if that’s what he wants to hear at that moment. I’m sure this stems from my fear of breakup/being dropped like I have been so many times. So I feel like, if he knows exactly how much I care about him or how much something affects me…he’ll then understand and this will all end well. I never take into consideration his feelings or his thoughts or his opinions and not because I think I’m right and he’s wrong…but because I get so scared i just start vomiting at the mouth with my emotions. Continue reading “Mental Health Monday: Over-Explaining”
“Moreover, when god gives any man wealth and possessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work—this is a gift of God.” Ecclesiastes 5:19
So today’s word of inspiration was Gratitude, and oh how fitting it was lol. Not only did my mom buy me dinner today…but she also put gas in my car. Being the broke college student I am…I sooooo needed that. Even though we bump heads(a lot) and we tend to see things differently, she still takes care of me and helps me out. I’m super lucky to have her as mom for real.
I can honestly say that I don’t stop enough, and just think about how good I actually have it. I may be a little behind in the game of life according to some people, but I’m up everyday following my dream of being a writer/journalist, and behind me I have a great support system of family and friends. YES I’m currently broke as all hell…but I’m happy! And that’s one thing out of the millions others I have to be “Thankful” for.
In less then a month I will be turning 30 years old! I can’t believe it! I swear I was just turning 16 lol. But on a more serious note I promised myself if I made it out of last year(2014) alive and not damaged(fighting, being someone I wasn’t, running after a man who didn’t want to be chased) I would really consider digging more into my spirituality and belief system(whatever that may end up being, but for right now I’m a go with my 1st religion/love and that’s Christianity) and maybe even possibly going back to church.
Now I can’t say that I am 100% there but recently a lot of things have been leading me to seek a out myself as a more spiritual being. Like I said Christianity(I grow up going to a Baptist Church but attended Catholic schools from K-12) is where I started my spiritual journey and is where I wish to pick back up at. I really have no expectations but I am anxious to see where this journey will take me. I also know SOME changes will be made…but I also want to be the Courtney that I am now, just a little more spiritually aware. Especially after the emotionally draining year I had last year.
For those who may not know, I dealt with a lot and I mean A LOT of depression last year because I was allowing the wrong people to take up my time and energy. So it can’t hurt to put my time and energy into more positive things, like school, work, my creative outlets, friends who matter, family and most importantly myself and my spiritual whole being. But yeah I know it’s really late and I really should be in bed but it was something I wanted and was excited to share. Plus I haven’t made a blog post since November (OOOOH THE SHAME) lol.
Before I go I also want to say “Thank You” to all the new subscribers to this blog that I have received in the last few months. I can’t promise that I will always update on here about this journey because for me when it comes to my spirituality I’m not really always super vocal about it (like how I am in this post), but I will give some updates here and there. I also have some other ideas for the blog, it’s just taking the time out to plan and set dates for them around school and work. But yeah that’s it for NOW! Thanks for taking the time to read and visit my blog.
Good Night Yinz Guys!